婚姻名言英文

婚姻名言英文

1.英文爱情名言

1)I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you. 我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。

2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。 3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。

4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 纵然伤心，也不要愁眉不展，因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。 5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。

6) Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。 7) Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。

8) Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。 9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 在遇到梦中人之前，上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人；在我们终于遇见心仪的人时， 便应当心存感激。

10)Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。11)A friend that you buy with presents will be bought from you. 用礼物“买来”的朋友终会被买走。

——Thomas Fuller 12)Friendship is the golden thread that ties the hearts of all the world. 友谊是一根金线，把全世界的心连在一起。 ——J.Evelyn 13)Without confidence there is no friendship. 没有信任，就没有友谊。

——Epicurus 14)In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. 在顺境中，朋友结识了我们；在逆境中，我们了解了朋友。——C.Collins 15)Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. 友谊如金钱一般，容易得到却不易保持。

——Samuel Butler 16)Friendship often ends in love, but love, in friendship—never 友谊常以爱情而结束；而爱情从不能以友谊而告终。——C.C.Colton 17)Suspicion is the poison of friendship. 猜疑对友谊而言是一种毒药。

——St.Augustine 18)Do not speak of your happiness to one less fortunate than yourself. 不要向不如你幸福的人说你自己的幸福。 ——Plutarch 19)Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. 幸福犹如香水，你不可能泼向别人而自己却不沾几滴。

——Emerson 20)It is impossible to love and to be wise. 爱令智昏。——Francis Bacon 21)If you would be loved, love and be lovable. 想被人爱，就要去爱别人，并让自己可爱。

——Benjamin Franklin 22)A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother. 兄弟未必是朋友，而朋友总是兄弟。 ——Benjamin Franklin 23)Love, friendship, respect, do not unite people as much as a common hatred for something. 爱情、友谊和尊敬都不如对某物的共同的恨那样能把人们团结起来。

——Chekhow 24)The course of true love never did run smooth. 通向真爱的路从无坦途。——Shakespeare 25)Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. 有没有爱情的婚姻，就会有没有婚姻的爱情。

——Benjamin Franklin 26)If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend. 如果不想让你的敌人得知你的秘密，就不要把秘密告诉你的朋友。 ——Benjamin Franklin 27)To really know someone is to have loved and hated him in turn. 在爱过和恨过一个人之后才能真正了解他。

——Marcel Jouhandeau 28)True friendship foresees the needs of other rather than proclaim it's own. 真正的友人总是考虑别人的需要而不是提出自己的要求。——A.Maurois 29)Good company on the road is the shortest cut. 有了好的旅伴，路途就变得无比短暂。

——Oliver Goldsmith 30)Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. 爱是对人类之存在这一问题唯一明智而又令人满意的答案。——Erich Fromm 31)A happy man or woman is a better thing to find than a five-pound note. 碰见一个快乐的人比捡到一张五镑钞票还要好。

——R.L.stevenson 32)Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other. 当朋友之间互相都觉得比对方稍稍优越时，友谊便能长久下去。 ——Honore de Balzac 33)First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. 初恋只不过是些愚蠢加上大量的好奇。

2.求英文的关于婚姻的经典语录

Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.

—— Hoshang N. Akhtar

婚姻是四个多裸露的双腿在床上。

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

—— Anonymous

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. “What do you mean?” responded her mother. “Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.”

—— Anonymous

Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

—— Anonymous

Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.

—— Amy Bloom

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.

—— Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

—— Homer, Odyssey, ninth century B.C.

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage

—— Martin Luther

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.

—— John Lyly

A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust.

—— Nanette Newman, British actress

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.

—— Sydney Smith

With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.

—— Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer

I hope you will like it 呵呵

3.有关爱情的经典名句（英文）

原发布者：羊婷儿

1.我的世界不允许你的消失，不管结局是否完美.

Nomattertheendingisperfectornot,youcannotdisappearfrommyworld.

2.爱情是一个精心设计的谎言

Loveisacarefullydesignedlie.

3.承诺常常很像蝴蝶，美丽的飞盘旋然后不见

Promisesareoftenlikethebutterfly,whichdisappearafterbeautifulhover.

4.凋谢是真实的盛开只是一种过去

Fadingistruewhilefloweringispast

5.为什么幸福总是擦肩而过，偶尔想你的时候….就让….回忆来陪我.

WhyIhavenevercatchedthehappiness?WheneverIwantyou,Iwillbeaccompanyedbythememoryof。

6.爱情…在指缝间承诺指缝….在爱情下交缠.

Love,promisedbetweenthefingers

Fingerrift,twistedinthelove

7.如果你为着错过夕阳而哭泣，那么你就要错群星了

Ifyouweepedforthemissingsunset,youwouldmissalltheshiningstars

8.感受梦的火焰，感觉飞舞瞬间，当一切浪漫遥远，永恒依然

tofeeltheflameofdreamingandtofeelthemomentofdancing,whenalltheromanceisfaraway,theeternityisalwaysthere

9.茹菓只遈遇见，吥能停畱，吥茹吥遇见.

Ifwecanonlyencountereachotherratherthanstaywitheachother,thenIwishwehadneverencountered.

10.宁愿笑著流泪，嘢不哭著说后悔心碎了，还需再补吗？

Iwouldlikeweepingwiththesmileratherthanrepentingwi

4.有关爱情的英语名言警句

1、“Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.“

爱情就是把别人的幸福看得比自己的重要。”——美国杰尔逊•布朗《爱别人》

2、“You can't blame gravity for falling love.” – Albert Einstein“

你不能因陷入爱情而责备重力。”——德国阿尔伯特•爱因斯坦《语录》

3、“Don't forget to love yourself.” – Soren Kierkegaard“

别忘了爱你自己。”——丹麦索伦•克尔凯郭尔《非此即彼》

4、“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” – Audrey Hepburn“

生活中最好的事情是拥有彼此。”——比利时奥黛丽•赫本《罗马假日》

5、“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.“

我决定去爱。因为仇恨是一个很大的负担。”——美国马丁•路德•金《我有一个梦想》

6、“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle“

爱情是在两个不同的身体里住着同一个灵魂。”——希腊亚里士多德《形而上学》

7、“Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones“

爱情不能使地球运转，但爱情能让你的人生旅途更有价值。”——美国富兰克林•琼斯《富兰克林自传》

8、“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato“

恋爱中的每个人都是诗人。”——古希腊柏拉图《理想国》

9、“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller “

世界上最美好的事情往往是看不见也听不见的，我们必须用心去感受。”——美国海伦•凯勒《假如给我三天光明》

10、“If I know what love is, it is because of you.” – Herman Hesse“

因为你，我才知道了什么是爱情。”——德国赫尔曼•黑塞《东方之旅》

5.英语爱情名言

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.幸福犹如香水，你不可能泼向别人而自己却不沾几滴。

——Emerson It is impossible to love and to be wise.爱令智昏。——Francis Bacon If you would be loved, love and be lovable.想被人爱，就要去爱别人，并让自己可爱。

——Benjamin Franklin Love, friendship, respect, do not unite people as much as a common hatred for something. 爱情、友谊和尊敬都不如对某物的共同的恨那样能把人们团结起来。——Chekhow The course of true love never did run smooth. 通向真爱的路从无坦途。

——Shakespeare Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. 有没有爱情的婚姻，就会有没有婚姻的爱情。——Benjamin Franklin To really know someone is to have loved and hated him in turn.在爱过和恨过一个人之后才能真正了解他。

——Marcel Jouhandeau Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. 爱是对人类之存在这一问题唯一明智而又令人满意的答案。——Erich Fromm First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. 初恋只不过是些愚蠢加上大量的好奇。

——G.B.Shaw Love is frail at birth, but it grows stronger with age if it is properly fed. 爱在起始阶段是脆弱的，但如果悉心呵护，它会随着时间的推移而牢固起来。——Ovid Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love.爱是种对那些为我们所爱的人或物的生活、成长积极主动的关心。

——Erith Fromm Real love stories never have endings.真正的爱情故事从来不会结束。——Richard Bach The best proof of love is trust.爱的最好证明就是信任。

——Joyce Brothers。

6.关于珍惜爱情的英语名言警句

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不能够代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.

爱人和被人爱是人生最大的幸福。

Love makes the world go round. 爱使世界转动。——Charles Dickens

Love is a master key which opens the gate of happiness.

爱是打开快乐之门的万能钥匙。

The darkness is no darkness with you.

有了你，黑暗不再是黑暗。

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

治疗爱的创伤唯有加倍地去爱。

Therefore, if you desire love, try to realize that the only way to get love is by giving love, that the more you give, the more you get.

如果你渴望爱，你需意识到得到爱的唯一方法就是付出爱，你付出的越多，得到的就越多。

7.求英文的名言（爱情方面）

英语爱情名言 1、love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end. 爱就像一场战争，开战容易停火难。

2、Love opens your chest and opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. 爱扒开你的胸膛，掏出你的心脏，有人就乘机侵入你的心胸把你搞得一团糟。 3、Does God punish or reward us with love？ 爱，是上帝用来惩罚我们的还是奖赏我们的呢？ 4、Love your neighbor, but don't get caught. 爱你的邻家女孩吧，但注意不要被逮着了。

5、I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation. 我喜爱这样的一只手，它的力度让我有几分感觉的手。 6、The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. 珍爱一切的好办法是：意识到你可能会失去它。

7、Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. 爱就像是握在手里的水银，把手指张开，它好好的呆在那里，要是你紧紧抓着，它反而溜走了。 8、If you judge people, you have no time to love them. 老是审视别人的话，你就腾不出时间去爱他们了。

9、A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. 极其微弱的一线希望就足以点燃爱的火花。 10、At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. 一谈到爱，每个人都变成了一位诗人。

11、Sometimes the perfect person for you is the one you least expect. 有时候，最适合你的人恰恰是你最没有想到的人。 12、How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. 我是多么幸运啊，拥有一样东西让我的“再见”迟迟说不出口。

13、The Eskimos have 52 words for snow because it is so special for them; there ought to be as many for love！ 爱斯基摩人有52个分别表示“雪”的词语，因为雪在他们的生活中太重要了；我们也应该有这么多表达“爱”的词语啊！ 14、If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. 如果世上真的不存在两方对等的爱，就让付出更多的一方是我吧。 15、When two eyes meet and hold strongly, they are bound to meet again. 当两眼相遇久久凝视，这两双眼睛注定将会再一次相遇。

16、I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 我喜欢成家，拥有一个在自己的余生中特别想去得罪的人，这不是一件很美好的事情吗？ 17、Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. 爱不是把地球变圆，爱是让环球旅行有价值。 18、To love is to be vulnerable. 去爱一个人就是把自己变得特别脆弱。

19、Love at first sight never happens before breakfast. 一见钟情的爱从来不会发生在饥肠辘辘的早餐以前。 20、To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction. 相爱不是你看我我看你，而是一起朝着相同的方向望去。

21、I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. 注意了，我不是在吻她，我只是在她的嘴边呢喃。 22、My love is like an ocean; it goes down so deep. My love is like a rose; whose beauty you want to keep. 我的爱就像浩瀚的海洋，它深沉厚重；我的爱就像芬芳的玫瑰，你疼爱珍重。

23、All shall be well, and Jack shall have Jill. 一切都会好起来，她会向你走过来。 24、First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. 初恋只是一分傻冒再加九分好奇。

25、When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. 当你爱上一个人的时候，所有深藏在心的祝福都奔涌而出了。 26、Came but for friendship, and took away love. 你为友情而来，却把爱情带走。

27、For, you see, each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. 你看，每一天我都爱你多一些，今天比昨天多但比明天少。 28、Love doesn't sit there like a stone. It has to be made like bread; remade all the timemade new. 爱不是一块木头，一动不动的坐在那里；对待爱，要像做面包那样--反复揉搓，不断翻新。

29、A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. 男人是透过他的眼睛捕捉爱意的，女人是通过她的耳朵体验爱意的。 30、Life is a flower of which love is the honey. 人生是鲜花，爱情是蜂蜜。

8.结婚祝福的话英文的

A wish to two happy people for a future of dreams comes true, Congratulations!

祝两个幸福的人儿，来日美梦都成现实。

祝贺你们！

Only once in a lifetime that a special dream comes true.

And suddenly your entire world seems beautiful and new.

Best wishes always!

一生中只有一次美梦实现的奇迹，你俩的整个世界顿时变得绚丽新奇。

祝永远幸福！

You two are a perfect match. Here's wishing you both a lifetime of happiness.

你们是天生的一对，祝你们永远幸福。

We never knew two people better suited to each other.

我们从未见过如此般配的一对。

You're the luckiest guy in the world.

你是世界上最幸运的人儿。

God bless you and yours, and surround you ever with his blessing.

愿上帝祝福你和你的爱人，永远赐福于你们。

May you two always be in love! May happiness increase with age.

愿你俩永浴爱河，祝你俩幸福与年俱增。

Wishing you a world of happiness and love as all your dreams come true.

但愿天从人愿，幸福与爱情无边！

He must be extra special,

because he is marrying a lovely girl.

新娘如此可爱，

新郎必定英俊不凡。

May the joy you share on your wedding day

Be the kind you'll share all along life's way.

愿你俩婚礼之日分享的喜悦，

将伴随你俩共度人生的岁月。

9.十条英文格言

a friend in need is a friend indeed~患难见真情A man is not old as long as he is seeking something. A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams (J. Barrymore) 只要一个人还有追求，他就没有老。

直到后悔取代了梦想，一个人才算老A good education gives a man a great pull. 良好的教育对人是至关重要的Take no thought for tomorrow. 莫为明日愁。 The course of true love never did run smooth. 好事多磨（我超爱这句！）Birds of a feather flock together. 物以类聚，人以群分。

Quality is better than quantity. 质胜于量A hedge between keeps friendship green. 保持距离，友谊常青。（真理啊）Better an open enemy than a false friend.公开的敌人胜于虚假的朋友Pleasant hours fly fast.美好时光最易逝Joys shared with others are more enjoyed.与人同乐，其乐无穷。

金星人与火星人双语阅读11：如何治愈我们的婚姻和爱情

【读你所爱，呵护你的心灵；顺便掌握英语，打开你的第三只眼】

【1】“...我鼓励Susan把她的感受都倾诉出来，并耐心地帮助Jim理解妻子的负面感受。这是他们情感愈合过程中最艰难的部分。”

I encouraged Susan to share her feelings and helped Jim patiently to understand her negative feelings. This was the hardest part of their healing process.

【2】“第二步就是承担责任。Jim需要对自己没有给妻子应得的支持而承担责任，而Susan需要对自己没有设定付出限度而承担责任。”

The second step was taking responsibility. Jim needed to take responsibility for not supporting his wife, while Susan needed to take responsibility for not setting boundaries.

【3】实践...

“Susan会练习说：“我不喜欢你说话的方式。请停止大喊大叫，要不然我就会离开房间。”当Susan真的离开房间几次以后，她就再也不需要这样做了。

Susan practiced saying "I don't like the way you are talking. Please stop yelling or 1 will leave the room." After leaving the room a few times, she didn't need to do it anymore.

【本节导读】

一位朋友对我说，“对于结婚几年以后的夫妻，就不要再谈什么爱情了吧。有时候我都会觉得这个年纪谈论爱情是一个笑话。”好吧，对于那些老夫老妻，我建议把《金星人与火星人》中的“爱情”和“感情”都理解成“夫妻关系”就好。不过，我希望，年轻人不要向父母学习，他们很少能成为我们了解爱情，懂得感情的偶像。

我没有资格给什么建议。每个人的婚姻和爱情都是你自己的，需要自己去走。幸福与不幸也是你自己的，是你自己领悟出来的，自己创造出来的。你才是你自己的老师。

我唯一听到的一个好故事，就是有人和家人约定一起用这本书来学英语。后来他告诉我，这个一起学英语的好习惯成为了他婚姻生活中的一个转折点。他们已经很久没有吵架了，他们开始越来越多地理解了对方话语中的暗号。

这一节是接着上一篇的，上一篇中，讲到了夫妻如何从爱情走到了相互责备。这一章里，有很多如何避免家庭吵架的秘方。值得收藏学习。

【刘博士译文】

金星人与火星人11：如何治愈我们的爱情

设定并尊重界限

然而，对于女性来说，最重要的一点在于认识到，将自己的付出控制在怎样的限度内才不会对伴侣产生怨恨。女性需要做的是通过控制自己的付出来保持平衡，而不是期待她的伴侣和她付出的一样多。

让我们看一个例子吧。39岁的Jim 和他41岁的妻子Sunsan来寻求婚姻心理咨询。Susan想要离婚。她抱怨说，十二年来她付出的一直比丈夫多得多，她现在再也忍受不了了。她责备丈夫Jim整日无精打采、自私、控制欲强、还不浪漫。她说她现在已经没有什么可以再付出的了，她准备离开这个家。Jim说服她来接受婚姻诊疗，但她对其效果很是怀疑。在六个月的诊疗时间里，他们能够通过以下三个步骤来治愈他们的情感关系。今天他们仍旧幸福地生活在一起，还有三个孩子。

第一步：产生动力

我向Jim解释说，他妻子历经了长达十二年的积怨。如果他想挽救这段婚姻的话，他必须要做大量的倾听，这样才能让他的妻子有动力去修复他们的婚姻。在他们双方一起参与的最初的六节诊疗中，我鼓励Susan把她的感受都倾诉出来，并耐心地帮助Jim理解妻子的负面感受。这是他们情感愈合过程中最艰难的部分。当Jim开始真正地听懂了她的痛苦和未实现的愿望时，Jim也会变得愈加有动力，他相信自己可以做出必要的改变来让重建一段爱的婚姻关系。

而要使Susan有动力去改善他们的婚姻关系，她必须要感到Jim在倾听她的诉说，并认可她的感受：这是第一步。只有当Susan感到Jim理解她以后，他们才能继续进行下一步。

步骤2：承担责任

第二步就是承担责任。Jim需要对自己没有给妻子应得的支持而承担责任，而Susan需要对自己没有设定付出限度而承担责任。Jim为自己伤害了Susan而主动道歉。而Susan也意识到，虽说丈夫在不尊重自己方面（如大吵大闹、发牢骚、拒绝她的要求和不认可她的感受）超越了她的忍耐界限，而自己也有错，那就是没有设定自己的忍耐界限。虽然Susan并不需要为此道歉，但她需要承认，自己对他们的婚姻问题也负有一定的责任。

当Susan逐渐懂得，自己因为没能设定界限，并因为自己习惯性地过多付出，所以对他们婚姻问题的产生也负有责任时，她也就能够更容易原谅Jim。能够为自己的婚姻问题承担责任，这对Susan释放自己的怨恨是至关重要的。通过承担责任，夫妻双方就都有了动力，他们开始学习通过尊重对方的忍耐限度的方式来支持对方。

第三步：实践

Jim尤其需要学会如何尊重妻子的界限，而Susan需要学习如何设定界限。他们都需要学会如何以一种尊重对方的方式来表达自己的真实感受。他们双方同意，在这第三步中，他们会练习设定界限和尊重界限，同时也要明白，他们时不时还是会犯错误。允许犯错误的认识让他们在练习的过程中有了安全感。以下就是他们所学到的和练习的一些例子：

Susan会练习说：“我不喜欢你说话的方式。请停止大喊大叫，要不然我就会离开房间。”当Susan真的离开房间几次以后，她就再也不需要这样做了。有时候，当Jim提出一些Susan讨厌去做的要求时，Susan会练习说：“不行，我现在需要休息一下”，或者是：“不行，我今天太忙了”。结果Susan发现Jim对她更上心了，因为他明白了Susan有多忙或是多累。

Susan告诉Jim她想去度个假。当Jim说自己太忙了没有空的时候，Susan说，那她会自己一个人去。突然间，Jim改变了自己的日程，也想去了。当他们在交谈时，如果Jim打断她的话，Susan会练习说：“我还没说完呢，请听我先把话说完。”突然间，Jim开始聆听得更多，插嘴更少了。Susan觉得最难以做的事情是练习要求自己想要的东西。Susan对我说：“我已经为他做了这么多，为什么我还要请求他为我做事呢？”我解释说，想让丈夫完全了解妻子的需求不仅不现实，而且也是造成婚姻问题的很大一部分原因。妻子必须要自己对实现自己的需要负责任。

而对于吉姆来说，最大的挑战是学会尊重妻子的变化，而且不能期望妻子还是像他刚结婚时那样总顺着他。Jim也认识到了，Susan的最大挑战是设定限制，而自己的最大挑战是适应妻子设定的界限。但是他知道，随着他们的不断练习，他们也就会变得愈加自然的。

当男性知道了伴侣的忍耐界限时，他就有动力付出更多。当男性尊重女性这一界限时，他就会主动对自己行为方式的后果进行反思，并开始做出改变。当女性认识到，为了满足自己的需求，她就必须设定界限时，她也就会自然地开始原谅她的伴侣，并开始考虑用其他方式来要求和获得伴侣的支持。当女性为自己设定了界限时，她就逐渐学会了放松下来和接受更多的支持。

【英文原文】

SETTING AND RESPECTING LIMITS

Most important, however, a woman needs to recognize her boundaries of what she can give without resenting her partner. Instead of expecting her partner to even the score, she needs to keep it even by regulating how much she gives.

Let's look at an example. Jim was thirty-nine and his wife, Susan, was forty-one when they came for counseling. Susan wanted a divorce. She complained that she had been giving more than he had for twelve years and could not take it anymore. She blamed Jim for being lethargic, selfish, controlling, and unromantic. She said she had nothing left to give and was ready to leave. He convinced her to come to therapy, but she was doubtful. In a six-month period they were able to move through the three steps for healing a relationship. Today they are happily married with three children'.

Step 1: Motivation

I explained to Jim that his wife was experiencing twelve years of accumulated resentment. If he wanted to save this marriage, he would have to do a lot of listening for her to be motivated to work on their marriage. For the first six sessions together, I encouraged Susan to share her feelings and helped Jim patiently to understand her negative feelings. This was the hardest part of their healing process. As he began to really hear her pain and unfulfilled needs, he became increasingly motivated and confident that he could make the changes necessary to have a loving relationship.

Before Susan could be motivated to work on their relationship, she needed to be heard and feel that Jim validated her feelings: this was the first step. After Susan felt understood, they were able to proceed to the next step.

Step 2: Responsibility

The second step was taking responsibility. Jim needed to take responsibility for not supporting his wife, while Susan needed to take responsibility for not setting boundaries. Jim apologized for the ways he had hurt her. Susan realized that just as he had stepped over her boundaries by treating her in disrespectful ways (such as yelling, grumbling, resisting requests, and invalidating feelings), she had not set her boundaries. Although she did not need to apologize, she did acknowledge some responsibility for their problems.

As she gradually accepted that her inability to set limits and her tendency to give more had contributed to their problems, she was able to be more forgiving. Taking responsibility for her problem was essential to releasing her resentment. In this way they both were motivated to learn new ways of supporting each other through respecting limits.

Step 3: Practice

Jim particularly needed to learn how to respect her boundaries, while Susan needed to learn how to set them. Both of them needed to learn how to express honest feelings in a respectful way. They agreed in this third step to practice setting and respecting limits, knowing that at times they would make mistakes. Being able to make mistakes gave them a safety net while they both practiced. These are some examples of what they learned and practiced:

* Susan practiced saying "I don't like the way you are talking. Please stop yelling or 1 will leave the room." After leaving the room a few times, she didn't need to do it anymore. When Jim would make requests that she would later resent doing, she practiced saying "No, 1 need to relax" or "No, I'm too busy today." She discovered that he was more attentive to her because he understood how busy or tired she was. * Susan told Jim that she wanted to go on a vacation, and when he said he was too busy she said that she would go alone. Suddenly he shifted his schedule and wanted to go. * When they talked and Jim interrupted, she practiced saying "I'm not finished, please hear me out." Suddenly he started listening more and interrupting less. 0 Susan's most difficult task was to practice asking for what she wanted. She said to me, "Why should I have to ask, after all 1 have done for him?" I explained that making him responsible for knowing her wants was not only unrealistic but a big part of her problem. She needed to be responsible for getting her needs fulfilled. * Jim's most difficult challenge was to be respectful of her changes and not expect her to be the same accommodating partner he originally married. He recognized that it was as difficult for her to set limits as it was for him to adjust to them. He understood that they would become graceful as they had more practice.

As a man experiences limits, he is motivated to give more. Through respecting limits, he automatically is motivated to question the effectiveness of his behavior patterns and to start making changes. When a woman realizes that in order to receive she needs to sets limits, then automatically she begins to forgive her partner and explore new ways of asking for and receiving support. When a woman set limits, she gradually learns to relax and receive more.